Pasta is my very favorite thing.  Pesto is another one of my very favorite things, and I sometimes make pesto from the leaves of my sad little basil plant (how do you people make basil thrive and get all leafy and full and whatnot?!).  Thanks to a 2 for 1 sale at Sprouts, I found myself with an overabundance of rocket, or arugula in American, on my hands.

Arugula has a great peppery flavor, and I like to put a few leaves on top of my pasta dishes and pizza.  I decided to whip up a batch of arugula pesto, and it turned out pretty great.  I ate the pesto over 2 ounces of pasta (do proper serving sizes make anyone else really sad?) and a fried egg.  I’ve discovered that a fried egg makes almost anything more delicious.

I love me some garlic, so I used two cloves.

If you don’t have one of these small Black & Decker food processors, I highly recommend it.  Great for chopping onions (or anything).  And for making pesto.   I use it a ton because I hate lugging out my giant food processor unless I absolutely have to.  I put the arugula, garlic, salt (I used pink Himilayan salt, because sometimes I’m fancy like that), olive oil, and a few slivered almonds and pulsed it a couple of times.  The key is to get everything chopped and blended without turning it into soup.

 Delicious.  Even better with some parmesan cheese and a glass of wine.

 

The Details:

2 cups of arugula

2 cloves of garlic (it tasted pretty garlicky, so you might want to reduce it–unless you’re a garlic freak like me)

1.5 Tbsp of olive oil

1/2 tsp of salt (or to taste, if you prefer more/less salt)

a few slivered almonds

Combine everything in a food processor and pulse 2-3 times.  You may need to use a spatula to scrape the sides between pulses so everything gets evenly chopped.

Serve over pasta (with or without a fried egg), and smile because carbs are delicious.

Today, in honor of what would have been my best friend, Larissa’s, 32nd birthday, I am sharing a post on grief that I posted on our adoption blog back in April.  It’s kind of long, and a few things are primarily adoption related, but I think talking about grief openly and learning to grieve well is so, so important.  

Recently, on a blog, I read a warning to adoptive parents.  It basically said to be mindful of the fact that, when you bring your child/children home, he/she/they will be grieving intensely–in spite of your jubilation that he/she/they is/are finally home.  This blog post said to honor your child/children’s grief, to allow them to grieve fully and completely, and to not be hurt or annoyed that they are in fact grieving and not necessarily jumping with joy and excitement at being “home.”

As someone who has experienced a traumatic loss, not allowed myself to grieve fully, and suffered the subsequent consequences, my response to this person was a whole-hearted WORD.  Amen. I hear that.

Based on my own experience, I can attest to the fact that trying to skip over grieving–the ugly, gross, going-through-all-of-the-stages grief–is like trying to hold in vomit when you have food poisoning. You may hold it in for a moment, but eventually it’s going to spew through your fingers and come out at random, inconvenient times.

Case in point:  last week, while driving home from a fun dinner with friends, I saw a Jeep that reminded me of my best friend, Larissa’s, car, and that sparked a conversation about Jeeps and their maintenance issues with my husband.  This led to about an hour of straight up, inconsolable sobbing.  What??!!!

Larissa, a few months before she died

You see, Larissa–my very best friend in the entire world, my soul sister–was killed in a cycling accident nearly 9 years ago.  At the time, I was still reeling from being left by my college boyfriend and, frankly, it was just all too much for my sweet little 20 year old self to handle.  I had a few moments of crying in my dorm room and in my car on my way to and from weekends at Larissa’s parents’ house, but, frankly, I didn’t really allow myself to fully grieve.  Instead, I left for a study abroad program in England and busied myself with spending time with my English family, drinking unhealthy amounts of wine and hard cider, and kissing English/Irish/European boys.  My un-dealt-with grief came spewing out in other, often embarrassing and inconvenient ways, like my screaming at my roommates about using my travel coffee mugs and then collapsing in a heap on the kitchen floor, weeping over said mugs.  I totally skipped over that messy, troublesome grief thing; instead of allowing myself to feel, honor, and fully grieve my loss, I stuffed the feelings inside, put my chin up, and had the occasional emotional-vomiting episode–usually onto innocent bystanders.  Misrouted grief is the worst.

I still have a tendency to do the stuffing, chin-up thing.  In 2010 my father had a massive heart attack.  Aside from my initial crying from shock and fear, I became a rock.  I went into action mode–packing a bag for my dad, speaking with doctors when my mom was unable to, going on a massive grocery shopping spree for heart-healthy foods.  When my father was being wheeled into surgery for a quadruple bypass, and he moved his oxygen mask to whisper that, if he died, he wanted his ashes spread on his best friend’s ranch, I nodded stoically (“of course! i’m on it!”) while my mother and siblings leaned into the walls of the hallway and wept.

It wasn’t until a couple of days later when I became furious over something stupid and small and started beating my fists against my husband’s chest as he tried to hold me that I realized, “oh, crap. I need to actually deal with what’s happening to my dad.”  Emotional-vomit spewing, people.

So, all of this is to say: please, for the love, please allow your adopted children to grieve.  Don’t be so caught up in the “yay, you’re homeness” that you ignore the fact that they’ve just lost their bio families, their countries, everything they’ve ever known.  Take some time to hibernate and give them a safe place to let it out.  Otherwise, you will find yourself cleaning up the emotional puke spewing through their fingers.  Usually at random and inopportune times, over trivial things.  Sometimes years and years later.  Don’t be threatened by your kids’ need to grieve.  Instead, be their soft place to land.  Honor their birth parents, their country, their bio families.  Let them grieve.

Let’s say you’re not an adoptive parent (or an adoptee)–what have you neglected to grieve in your life?  I encourage you: spend time with the Lord dealing with this issue.  Allow Him to bring to mind the things you have neglected to grieve, the things that are still festering inside and threatening to spew through your fingers.  Spend some time crying and grieving with Jesus, and allow Him to heal those raw, wounded places in your heart.  That’s the sweet, beautiful thing about this glorious, loving Father we serve–He wants you to be healed and whole.   After all, we can’t begin the next chapter until we have completely finished the previous one.

***I feel it’s important to note that my sweet Daddy has fully recovered and is back to wolfing down cheese enchiladas and vanilla milkshakes, Jesus help us.

Over the past month I’d seen a few mug swap photos on Instagram, and I was super curious.  Last week, I joined in on a mug swap that one of my Influence Network friends set up (check out #happylittlemugswap); think Secret Santa, but with strangers who live far away.

Here are the things I sent the girl I was assigned to, who lives in Oklahoma:

I found this owl mug at Home Goods, and I think it’s adorable.

I was thrilled to return home from a work trip yesterday to find these lovelies waiting for me from my #happylittlemugswap friend in Missouri:

Have you ever participated in a mug swap, or any other gift exchange with far-away friends?  If not, I highly recommend it–such a fun project!

 

Whenever God is calling me to something new, there is a scary, stepping out on a limb element involved; I’ve learned that being obedient to the Lord’s plan always requires bravery.

I’ve known since January 1st that 2013 would be a year of big changes, of new things in my life, a year of new beginnings.   One day several months ago I was reading a blog, and a sidebar button for The Influence Network caught my attention.  I went to the Influence website, and I immediately knew–deep down in my bones, butterflies in my stomach knew–that this was something I HAD to be part of, that this was one of the new things.  I paid the membership fee and joined the network within a few minutes of pulling the site up.  After joining, I learned that Influence has an annual conference in Indianapolis; I knew I had to be part of that, too.

September 26 I will be flying from Dallas to Indy to spend the weekend with hundreds of girls I’ve never met before.  I will be sharing a hotel room with two girls I’ve never met before.  As an introvert who is super new to the blogging/online business community, this is a big, intimidating leap of faith for me.  I am choosing to be brave, to step confidently in the direction where I feel the Lord is leading me.

“The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.” Psalm 37:23

As any good Pinterest fanatic/type A personality would, I’ve been researching what to bring to a blogging conference.  In addition to my ever-present iPhone (Instagram!!) and the majority of the clothes in my closet, the two things I plan on having with me are my gorgeous new journal for recording profound nuggets of wisdom, and my hole punch/book ring combo thingy for storing all of the business cards I’ll be collecting.

I’m full of joyful expectation for what these three days will bring.  I am excited for the life-giving, beautiful relationships that will be formed and for the invaluable knowledge I will come away with.  In addition to practical, strategic advice from women who have been blogging and pursuing online businesses for years, there will also be powerful worship and Biblical teaching.  AMAZE.

If you see me at the conference, come say hi!

(This post is a link up to The Influence Network)

“For we are God’s masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus so we can do the good things He planned for us along ago.”  Ephesians 2:10 is one of my very favorite scriptures, and it is so freeing.  The second part of Ephesians 2:10 is something a lot of Christians miss, or simply don’t get.  The Lord has planned and prepared the good things for us to do, and we are simply to walk into them when they present themselves!  No striving, no performing.  When we get stressed about “being good” and try to do things in our own strength, we are working out of pride and fear and not relying on Jesus.  Instead, we need to just be sensitive to the prompting of the Holy Spirit so that when we encounter a good thing God has prepared for us–from before the beginning of time–we simply walk into it. (The NIV puts it this way: “ For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“)

Jesus said “My yoke (the things oxen wear around their necks when they’re working for their owners, in case you were wondering) is easy, and the burden I give you is light.”  Matthew 11:30  God doesn’t want us running around like panicky interns backstage who can’t find the safety pins (a little nod to NY Fashion Week, which started Wednesday), trying to make sure THE BOSS is not mad at us.  Trying to keep the creator of the universe from being angry with you is not a light burden.  He loves us, and He just wants us to chill out already.

My mother is an amazing example of this, and she has been an excellent mentor to me.  Two examples immediately come to mind:  about a year ago she was picking up one of her purses? watches? (can’t remember) that was being repaired by a local jeweler.  While in the store she watched a young girl with  a baby trying to sell her thin, gold wedding band.  The jeweler told her it was only worth $20, and she ran out of the store weeping.  My mom ran after her, hugged her, and met her needs–both financial and emotional/spiritual.  The second occurred at a kinda ghetto grocery store near my parents’ house.  My mother doesn’t usually shop there, but for some reason she chose to go there that day.  When it came time to check out, an elderly man, impeccably dressed, was in front of my mother in line and was trying to pay for his groceries with food stamps, but he didn’t have enough.  My mother could sense the humiliation and despair pouring out of this man, and she told the cashier to add this man’s cart of groceries onto her bill.  You see? Effortless–no striving or stressing on her part–good works prepared for her to walk into before the beginning of time. The Lord prepares the things for us to do, and our only job is to be led by His spirit so that we recognize these good things when we see them and are obedient to do the work required to make them happen.

Ephesians 2:10 applies to both little, everyday things, like my mom’s experiences, and to BIG things, like a new adventure God is calling you to. Before we pursue a dream–a good work prepared for us in advance–we must first conceive (form or devise a plan or idea in the mind, form a mental representation of; imagine) that dream, which requires being open and paying attention–to your passions, your talents, your deepest desires, and being sensitive to the Lord’s guidance.  We must allow the dream to fully develop and unfold naturally, rather than trying to force things to happen our way, in our timing.  However, we must not mistake  resting in God’s grace and following the rhythms of His timing with taking zero action ourselves.  Ecclesiastes 5:2-4 says: “For a dream comes with much business and painful effort…”  Once you’ve conceived a big dream for your future and carried it around inside of you for awhile, there will come a time when God gives you the green light to give birth to that sucker, which takes much business and painful effort.  No matter what your dream–ministry, business, reconciling family relationships and helping others do the same, etc.–when it’s go time you will have to work your tail off.  However, when we’re walking into a good work He has called us to, that He has prepared for us, there will be tremendous peace and joy–even in the midst of the hard work.

A few weeks ago, our good friend Michael, who heads up the band All Delighted People (ADP), e-mailed Jon and me out of the blue about a concert ADP was planning at a bar in Deep Ellum.  He said: “You guys have always shown us great support, so we would like to donate whatever we make off of the door to you guys for your adoption.”

God continues to amaze me through this super weird, stressful, roller coastery thing called international adoption.  We still need well over $20K to cover the costs of the adoption plus travel expenses to get our babes home, and I could so easily freak out.  But, I’m not.  I’m trusting the Lord, and I’m resting in the knowledge that He’s got this.  Little, random, out-of-the-blue blessings like this are all the proof I need.

Here’s a poor quality video of ADP at Prophet Bar (loud, crowded bar, recording on my iPhone, blah blah blah), but it gives you a little taste of ADP’s music.  They are GREAT–musically gifted, solid worship lyrics–you should download their album here (FREE!).  Thanks for the love, Michael, Kristen, Mishaal, Abby, Tommy, and Jon C!!

***Shout out to my husband, Jon, for the photos!