According to Becky (and some official fact source, no doubt), Manchester is the third most diverse city in the world–behind New York and Paris. Our weekend in “the north” was full of delicious food (including Indian and Spanish), political protests, and interesting people. I also saw a guy who is probably the best singer ever performing on the street.

Sorry that I’ve been blogging so sporadically lately! The past few weeks have been super busy; between the conference, my cousin Hannah visiting from England, planning our trip to England, and work/normal life responsibilities, I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Jon and I arrived in England on Thursday morning (for all of you internet baddies out there: don’t get any big ideas–we’ve got people staying at our house). We spent one night at my aunt’s/grandparents’ house in a teeny tiny village in Norfolk called Garboldisham, then we headed to Manchester to spend the weekend with my cousin, Becky; next we’re heading to a beautiful area of northern England called The Lake District. I’m going to try to post throughout our trip, and there will probably be a weird mix of iPhone and DSLR photos (sorry about that).

England is my heart, and I’m so excited to share it with y’all.

Today in Manchester with Becky:

Blogging from Becky’s (right now):

I’m not a big fan of Halloween, but I love decorating with pumpkins in the fall.  I also love gold spray paint–it’s kind of a thing in my life right now.

The big creamy colored, um, thing is called a cushaw.  I’m kind of wondering if it would taste good, like spaghetti or acorn squash…

I didn’t want the stems to be painted so, I used painter’s tape to cover them up.  This was the most painful part of the process, and I wasn’t able to completely cover the bottom of the stems.  My OCD was twitching.

The finished product. Flowers in mason jars make everything better.

I’ve had some tiny pumpkins on our mantle for a few weeks, and I thought I might as well paint those, too, while I was at it.

How do you decorate for fall?

Ok y’all, so I know you’re probably super sick of hearing about The Influence Conference.  This is the last post on it, I promise.  I learned some fantastic, stronghold-shattering, life-changing stuff, and I really want you to benefit from it, too.

God created women to be vulnerable, to connect on a heart level, but our fear and the lies we’ve believed have led us to put up walls around our hearts, and many of us are living “small and scared” (as Haley put it), which is causing us to miss out on what the Lord has for us.  There is such freedom in vulnerability!  In addition to being vulnerable with another, there is sweet freedom in being vulnerable with the Lord, and trusting Him with our dreams.  In her session, Haley spoke about the huge difference between striving (1. To exert much effort or energy; 2. To struggle or fight forcefully) versus chasing hard after the Lord and letting Him place dreams in your heart and prepare the way for you to walk in (Eph. 2:10).  To use the same example Haley  used, think about pulling on a rope super hard to bring something to yourself, versus holding the hand of the Lord and walking peacefully and confidently toward that thing. When we release our expectations and hold our dreams in open hands before the Lord, vulnerable to Him, we become free and blessed beyond measure.  Lara summed this concept up beautifully in her session when she said “the Bible never says to chase our dreams; it only says to chase HIM.”  As we stay snuggled up close to His side, and walk hand in hand with Him, He will place His dreams in our hearts and will guide our steps so that those dreams are lived out.

Believing lies will make us live small and scared.  Lies make us weak.  Lies cause us to go off course.  Some lies I’ve believed that have made life unnecessarily difficult at times: I’m not seen or heard, my voice doesn’t matter, other people are more gifted than I am, so I shouldn’t even try.  One thing that really sunk deep into my spirit at the conference is that my good things will look different from other people’s good things and that I shouldn’t try to mimic what someone else is doing well.  Comparison is the thief of joy, y’all!  As we grow more confident in our identity as daughters of the King, we become liberated to shine, and we liberate those around us to shine, as well.  Your work (whatever that work may be) will be much more effective when you’re working from a place of freedom. 

Are you believing any lies that are causing you to live small and scared? 

(this post was inspired by Haley Morgan, Lara Casey, and Jessi Connolly)

“To name your fears is to destroy them… life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Lara Casey at The Influence Conference

Girls/women have been a source of anxiety in my life since maybe second grade or so.  They have often hurt my feelings and intimidated me.  So, I obviously thought that attending a conference on my own with 300 women I didn’t know and sharing a room with 3 girls I’d never met before was an excellent idea.

I battled fear and totally had some freak-out moments before the conference; moments when I was frantically digging through my closet, convinced that all of the other girls would weigh 95 lbs. and have perfect top knots and be completely decked out in Madewell and Anthropologie–for free, of course, because their blogs are so successful that they have loads of sponsorships.  I feared they would judge me for being a little bit chubby and brand-new to blogging. Instead, I met women who have a passion for writing, for creating, for Jesus, and for one another–women who look at the world just a little bit differently, like I do. Women who, when they poured out their hearts and shared their dreams and struggles, made me exclaim “me too!!!”

                                                                        
 “…where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (II Cor. 3:17) has been my jam for the past several months.  I want to be completely, utterly free. I want to shake off the things that have been holding me back, and move boldly into the things He has for me.  One thing I’m learning about freedom is that it’s something you have to walk into, something you have to boldly pursue.  For me, breaking free of  being intimidated by other women meant pursuing freedom by being brave and stepping out in faith.  And that meant attending this conference and stretching myself to approach other women and doing the work to find the common ground that leads to friendship.

It would have been easy for me to stick with my roommates all weekend and not make an effort to meet people.  My roomies are lovely, loving girls, and after sharing a room together we got to know one another pretty well. BUT, I purposefully went to meals and sessions by myself, and approached tables filled with girls I didn’t know to ask “is this seat taken?”  I arranged to meet a sweet girl I knew only via Twitter and the Influence forums for breakfast.  I went to a dinner for adoptive moms where I met a wonderful woman who recently completed an Ethiopian adoption, and who I know will be a cheerleader and a source of wisdom and support in my life for years to come.  I saw a tweet about a group meeting in the lobby of the hotel at 10 p.m. to go get frozen yogurt, so I showed up and went along with them.  I met a few girls I really liked during lunch on Saturday, so I arranged to have dinner with them that night.  My bravery and momentary discomfort were rewarded with some sweet friendships that I pray will be lifelong.

There was a spirit of kindredness in the air, a sense of knowing that we are a sisterhood united by our creative and spiritual passions.  There was no competition, no snarkiness or backhanded compliments, just women cheering one another on and lifting eachother’s arms in support.  Jesus opened my eyes to see the hearts of my sisters, and He did a healing work in my own heart.

I found my people at The Influence Conference, my tribe of fellow writers and creators.  And I am so, so thankful.

I left The Influence Conference feeling broken wide open, raw, exhausted and so, so healed, inspired, and FREE.  I’m still processing–which is what I’ve heard from many other girls, too–and probably will be for quite awhile.  Y’all, it was A LOT.  A lot of people, a lot of bam-in-your-face truth, a lot of wisdom, a lot of ugly crying, a lot of stepping out in new things.  I was completely spent when I boarded my plane back to Texas, yet I felt more deep-down, warm and cozy in the depths of my heart, content than I have in a long time.

I’m so in awe of God.  A couple of years ago I had a few words from the Lord, given to me by friends at church, that God was gifting me creatively.  I even went to a women’s conference in Dallas where, one evening, we were supposed to ask the Lord for one word for the girl standing next to us, and the girl to my left turned to me, looked me in the eyes and said CREATIVITY.  When I was getting all of these words I just thought, “oh, that’s so nice! I do enjoy making yarn wreathes.”

I had no idea that the creativity pertained to words, to my writing (which I’ve been doing since I was a child writing borderline-disturbing short stories), and that the Lord had a community ready for me, full of like-minded, supportive women.  I am so, so thankful for The Influence Network, and that I took the plunge to attend the conference in Indianapolis on my own.

During my flight to Indy I wrote the following wish list for my time at the conference:

authenticity, heart connections, strategic vision for the future, vulnerability, lifelong friendship, equipping, unquenchable passion.

Yes, yes, yes!  All of these things were received and walked into.

I will do at least one additional post about the conference–possibly more.  I received SUCH TRUTH, and I want to pass it on.  For now, here are a few of the nuggets of truth I received:

From Haley Morgan, blogger & cofounder of The Influence Network: “God doesn’t want you to fear the influence He’s given you.”

From Lara Casey, Editor-in-Chief of Southern Weddings: “Set good goals.  Set God goals, born from your core.”

From Shauna Niequist, blogger, author, and the woman I want to be when I grow up: “The more I cram in right now, the less I experience; I lose the ability to feel and taste.”

From Jessi Connolly, artist, blogger, and cofounder of The Influence Network: “God doesn’t want to heal you so He can better use you, but because He loves you.”

From Jeff Goins, blogger and author: “Have you been holding back? It’s time to be all in… Your dream is a gift that’s been given to you by God, and it’s meant to be given away.”

God is so, so good, y’all.  Like, ridiculous, crazy good.

This post is a link up with The Influence Network.