“To name your fears is to destroy them… life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Lara Casey at The Influence Conference
Girls/women have been a source of anxiety in my life since maybe second grade or so. They have often hurt my feelings and intimidated me. So, I obviously thought that attending a conference on my own with 300 women I didn’t know and sharing a room with 3 girls I’d never met before was an excellent idea.
I battled fear and totally had some freak-out moments before the conference; moments when I was frantically digging through my closet, convinced that all of the other girls would weigh 95 lbs. and have perfect top knots and be completely decked out in Madewell and Anthropologie–for free, of course, because their blogs are so successful that they have loads of sponsorships. I feared they would judge me for being a little bit chubby and brand-new to blogging. Instead, I met women who have a passion for writing, for creating, for Jesus, and for one another–women who look at the world just a little bit differently, like I do. Women who, when they poured out their hearts and shared their dreams and struggles, made me exclaim “me too!!!”
“…where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (II Cor. 3:17) has been my jam for the past several months. I want to be completely, utterly free. I want to shake off the things that have been holding me back, and move boldly into the things He has for me. One thing I’m learning about freedom is that it’s something you have to walk into, something you have to boldly pursue. For me, breaking free of being intimidated by other women meant pursuing freedom by being brave and stepping out in faith. And that meant attending this conference and stretching myself to approach other women and doing the work to find the common ground that leads to friendship.
It would have been easy for me to stick with my roommates all weekend and not make an effort to meet people. My roomies are lovely, loving girls, and after sharing a room together we got to know one another pretty well. BUT, I purposefully went to meals and sessions by myself, and approached tables filled with girls I didn’t know to ask “is this seat taken?” I arranged to meet a sweet girl I knew only via Twitter and the Influence forums for breakfast. I went to a dinner for adoptive moms where I met a wonderful woman who recently completed an Ethiopian adoption, and who I know will be a cheerleader and a source of wisdom and support in my life for years to come. I saw a tweet about a group meeting in the lobby of the hotel at 10 p.m. to go get frozen yogurt, so I showed up and went along with them. I met a few girls I really liked during lunch on Saturday, so I arranged to have dinner with them that night. My bravery and momentary discomfort were rewarded with some sweet friendships that I pray will be lifelong.
There was a spirit of kindredness in the air, a sense of knowing that we are a sisterhood united by our creative and spiritual passions. There was no competition, no snarkiness or backhanded compliments, just women cheering one another on and lifting eachother’s arms in support. Jesus opened my eyes to see the hearts of my sisters, and He did a healing work in my own heart.
I found my people at The Influence Conference, my tribe of fellow writers and creators. And I am so, so thankful.
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