Every Monday for the next seven weeks I’ll be linking up with my fellow Influence Network member, Carrie, to review a chapter of Brené Brown’s amazing, life-changing, eye-opening book, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. I totally recommend reading it; hopefully reading my weekly reviews will convince you to.
Brené (I like to think we’re friends) starts off the first chapter by basically saying that many of us have two things in common: fear and a feeling of scarcity. As I begin to explore the concept of freedom in my life, I know that scarcity–the feeling of never being, having, or doing enough–and fear are two things that the Lord wants to free me from.
She goes on to discuss our current culture of narcissism, e.g. crazy, self-absorbed celebrities (coughKanyecough), nonstop selfies and using the number of followers and likes we have on Instagram/Facebook as a measure of our self worth. We are all vulnerable to this modern-day brand of narcissism, the root of which, according to Brené, is “the shame-based fear of being ordinary.” Boom.
At the heart of every person on Earth is the need and desire to be truly seen, heard, and acknowledged as being valuable. Too many of us are afraid that if other people really saw us–the real us–they wouldn’t like us. Enter the obsession with presenting a perfect picture of our lives to the world.
Brené asks two eye-opening questions:
How are our struggles and behaviors related to protecting ourselves? How are our behaviors, thoughts, and emotions related to vulnerability and the need for a strong sense of worthiness?
I can now see how certain things I’ve struggled with for years are hugely connected to my desire for “a strong sense of worthiness” and a desire to protect myself in case others don’t think I am enough (which is–hello–shame).
Brené says about the feeling of scarcity that’s so prevalent in our society today: “Everything from safety and love to money and resources feels restricted or lacking.” We are constantly talking about how we aren’t thin enough, financially secure enough, popular enough, getting enough sleep, and on and on. Lack seems to be the constant focus.
I’ll end with one last boom quote from chapter one:
The greatest casualties of a scarcity culture are our willingness to own our vulnerabilities and our ability to engage with the world from a place of worthiness…one thing we have in common is that we’re sick of feeling afraid. We all want to be brave. We want to dare greatly.
