Every Monday for the next seven weeks I’ll be linking up with my fellow Influence Network member, Carrie, to review a chapter of Brené Brown’s amazing, life-changing, eye-opening book, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. I totally recommend reading it; hopefully reading my weekly reviews will convince you to.

Brené (I like to think we’re friends) starts off the first chapter by basically saying that many of us have two things in common: fear and a feeling of scarcity. As I begin to explore the concept of freedom in my life, I know that scarcity–the feeling of never being, having, or doing enough–and fear are two things that the Lord wants to free me from.

She goes on to discuss our current culture of narcissism, e.g. crazy, self-absorbed celebrities (coughKanyecough), nonstop selfies and using the number of followers and likes we have on Instagram/Facebook as a measure of our self worth. We are all vulnerable to this modern-day brand of narcissism, the root of which, according to Brené, is “the shame-based fear of being ordinary.”  Boom.

At the heart of every person on Earth is the need and desire to be truly seen, heard, and acknowledged as being valuable.  Too many of us are afraid that if other people really saw us–the real us–they wouldn’t like us. Enter the obsession with presenting a perfect picture of our lives to the world.

Brené asks two eye-opening questions:

How are our struggles and behaviors related to protecting ourselves? How are our behaviors, thoughts, and emotions related to vulnerability and the need for a strong sense of worthiness?

I can now see how certain things I’ve struggled with for years are hugely connected to my desire for “a strong sense of worthiness” and a desire to protect myself in case others don’t think I am enough (which is–hello–shame).

Brené says about the feeling of scarcity that’s so prevalent in our society today: “Everything from safety and love to money and resources feels restricted or lacking.” We are constantly talking about how we aren’t thin enough, financially secure enough, popular enough, getting enough sleep, and on and on. Lack seems to be the constant focus.

I’ll end with one last boom quote from chapter one:

The greatest casualties of a scarcity culture are our willingness to own our vulnerabilities and our ability to engage with the world from a place of worthiness…one thing we have in common is that we’re sick of feeling afraid. We all want to be brave. We want to dare greatly.

I’m linking up with Emily Freeman‘s blog to share the things that I learned in December.  It was going to be ten things that I learned in December, but then I thought of another thing and didn’t want to cut anything out, so it’s eleven things. YOLO, and all that.

In December I learned that:

1. Stressing out about making things (i.e. my 30th birthday, Christmas) perfect makes things stressful and, well, un-perfect. Sometimes I need to just chill the heck out.

2. I can’t eat and drink whatever I want, whenever I want, and still expect to feel good.  Or functional. Or evenly remotely human.

3. It’s OK to watch certain shows and movies over and over again. Gilmore Girls, Felicity (which might be on my TV right now), Elizabethtown, and The Holiday will always be OK. And on repeat in this house.

4. If Pinterest ever goes away, I pretty much won’t be able to function. It will be a sure sign that Jesus’ return is imminent.

5. I need to start investing more time and energy into my family relationships.

6. In order to keep our home (and my sanity) a clear, restful space, we have to constantly get rid of things. “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.” ― William Morris

7. And, on that note, it’s time that I stopped holding onto clothes from college. It’s no longer “just a couple of years ago;”  it’s like, a really long time ago. And I haven’t worn that French Connection sweater since ’02.

8. I really, really love to write. And I want to get better at it.

9. Music peaked in the 90s.

10. If your (my) yoga pants are tight and feeling too small, it means you’ve (I’ve) hit rock bottom.

11. It’s time to start living intentionally (new post on this coming in the next week or so). 

Since 2011 I have sought the Lord before the start of each new year to get a feel for what He’s doing in my life, and to get my word for the new year.  Unlike resolutions, the word serves as an overarching theme and guide for the year. The word will usually come to me at random times, and it’s always turned out to be totally accurate.  My word for 2011–change–came to me in the shower, and that year I changed jobs unexpectedly (to a job I love), Jon lost his job and had a big career change, and we had some major family changes, as well.

Change, indeed.  2012 (order) and 2013 (new beginnings) were spot-on, as well.  And a bit less dramatic/stressful.

My word for 2014 is FREEDOM.  The theme of freedom and what it truly means for me, as a daughter of the King, has been coming up over and over in my life, and we all know that II Corinthians 2:17, “where the spirit of the Lord is, there is FREEDOM,” has been a constant echo in my heart and in my head for quite awhile.

There are some major overhauls that need to happen in several areas of my life, and this year I am pursuing FREEDOM–in my health, my finances, and in my family relationships.  I want freedom from old habits, fears, and hang-ups that have been weighing me down for far too long.

So, how will this play out, practically speaking?  In everything I do, every decision I make large or small, FREEDOM is the ultimate goal, and I will be asking myself, “does this lead me into freedom or bondage?”

What are you feeling is in store for you in the new year?  Do you have a word?  I’d love to hear it!  Let’s chat in the comments.